


I'll never try a dating website again.

by awkwardkermitfrog



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Dating, Gen, M/M, Misery, OKCupid, Online Dating, Stalker, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 22:33:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11954058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardkermitfrog/pseuds/awkwardkermitfrog
Summary: Rhett and Link meet on OkCupid. Link gets a little too attached.





	I'll never try a dating website again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by an image sent to me by linkslipssinkships. The quote on the image read, "They've promised that dreams can come true- but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too."

It was supposed to be simple. Get a profile on OkCupid or Tinder or Match or some other service. Match up with profiles of people and see if you’re attracted to them. If you were, you could choose to meet up with the person, see if it was going anywhere. If it wasn’t, you didn’t have to meet again. If it was, you might have a new relationship. At least that’s what my friends told me when they encouraged me to try online dating. 

About a month ago, a photo of a young man with dark hair, blue eyes, and black glasses came up. The profile name was linklamont. I matched up with him and we started chatting. At the goading of my friends, we decided to meet up for coffee, and there I was, staring up at a Starbucks menu with a near perfect stranger. I wish I’d known then that the dream I was looking at housed a nightmare. But then, nightmares are dreams too.

 

**Friday.**

 

“Hi, Rhett?” I looked up to see a hand extending towards me. I was supposed to shake it. I reached out with my own hand and awkwardly took the other hand in my own. 

“Hi. Link, right?” I asked unsure how to approach the situation.

“Yeah.” I watched as the tall, dark haired man with impossibly blue eyes sat down across from me at the coffee table. I noticed a few things immediately: his eyes were even more blue than his profile had suggested, he looked good in plaid, and his glasses were both brown and black. “Have you ordered yet?”

“No, not yet.” He looked across the shop and back at me. “I’m sorry, I don’t really do this online dating thing much. So I might be awkward.” 

“It’s okay.” I smiled at him, my right hand stroking my beard gently, a nervous habit. “Let’s get something to drink.”

“You’re a lot taller in person.” Link remarked as we waited for someone to come up and take our order. 

“Yeah, well, so are you.” I said sarcastically. Link laughed. We ordered and stood there stiffly, hands in our pockets, not entirely certain where to take the conversation. 

“Caramel machiatto?” A woman with a green apron asked, setting a drink on the counter. 

“Me.” I heard Link say as he raised his hand and reached for the drink. He edged around me to the counter with sugars and began to add some vanilla as well as some honey to the concoction as I watched and waited. 

“You like sugar, huh?” I observed, watching the yellow liquid pour into the cup.

“You could say I like sweet things.” Link said, setting it back on the counter. “What’d you get again?”

“White mocha?” The same barista called out, setting another drink on the counter.

“That.” I picked up the cup and followed Link back to our table, sitting down across from him and taking a sip from the drink. It was bitter, but after making the assumptions about Link and the coffee, I felt like I couldn’t make a big deal out of it.

“So… what’s your story, Rhett?”

The date went well. It went about as well as any of these things can go, really. I’m not entirely sure. I’d been on one or two dates before that just hadn’t stuck with me in any way. We talked for about ninety minutes about various things here and there, but it was mostly small talk. At the end of it all I found myself finding excuses to check my phone for the time, and then finding an excuse to leave. I brought up the time and some arbitrary responsibilities that were on my to do list, and a few minutes later we were saying our goodbyes. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I noticed that Link was peculiarly staring after me. It made me feel slightly uneasy to be stared at like that, but I figured he was probably just making sure I got out of the parking lot safely. 

  
  


Later that night, I received a message on OkCupid. 

 

_ linklamont: Did you have a good time today? _

_ rhettmc: yeah, i guess so _

_ linklamont:  oh _

_ linklamont: i really like you _

_ linklamont: i’d like to see you again _

_ rhettmc: idk, maybe.  _

_ linklamont: let me know _

  
  


**Monday.**

 

Something strange happened at work: flowers were delivered to my desk at work. 

I stared up at the delivery man after he confirmed that I was Rhett McLaughlin with a confused expression, repeating to him over and over, “I’m not dating anybody.”

The delivery man shrugged. “Well, they’re for you. Maybe they’re from your mom. See what the card says.”

I looked after him as he walked away, the vase of sunflowers and daisies sitting on my desk with a little card sticking out of the top. I turned back to it and got out the card to read it.

 

_ Have a great day.  _

_ -L _

 

“L?” I said aloud, turning the card over in my hand. Link. 

  
  


_ linklamont: did you get the flowers? _

_ linklamont: sunflowers really remind me of you _

_ linklamont: can i see you soon? _

_ rhettmc: how did you know where I work? _

_ linklamont: you told me _

_ rhettmc: still I think you’re moving too fast _

_ linklamont: i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable _

_ linklamont: i just really like you _

_ rhettmc: its ok _

_ linklamont: phew _

_ rhettmc: i don’t think we can go out again _

_ linklamont: can i ask why? _

_ linklamont: can be we be friends? _

_ linklamont: maybe we can just chat as friends at least _

_ rhettmc: i just dont feel the same way you do _

_ linklamont: okay _

_ linklamont: but maybe we can be friends _

_ linklamont: which will be hard because i really like you _

_ linklamont: i think i’m really into you _

_ linklamont: so i hope i havent lost you _

_ rhettmc is offline. _

_ linklamont: rhett? _

 

**Tuesday.**

 

Missed call from Link. 1:38pm.

Missed call from Link. 1:45pm.

Missed call from Link. 1:55pm.

Missed call from Link. 2:13pm.

Voicemail:  _ Hey, did I do something wrong? You okay? I have this fantasy of us getting married. I think we’d be really happy together. Please call me back. _

Voicemail:  _ Hey, call me back? _

Missed call from Link. 3:12pm.

Missed call from Link. 3:33pm.

Missed call from Link. 3:46pm.

Text from Link at 3:50pm:  _ hey rhett it’s link _

Text from Link at 3:52pm:  _ how’s work? _

Text from Link at 3:57pm:  _ i bet it’s boring haha _

Text from Link at 4:01pm:  _ rhett? _

Text from Link at 4:07pm:  _ text me back plz? _

Text from Link at 4:13pm:  _ Are you mad at me? _

Text from Link at 4:15pm:  _ did i do something? _

Text from Rhett at 4:16pm:  _ how did you get this number? _

Text from Link at 4:21pm: _ you gave it to me silly  _

Text from Link at 4:23pm: _ you don’t remember? _

Text from Rhett at 4:25pm:  _ I can’t talk right now, please stop texting me _

Text from Link at 4:27pm: _ I’ll just give you some stuff to read for later then ;) _

Text from Rhett at 4:28pm:  _ Please leave me alone.  _

Text from Link at 4:31pm: _ I need to tell you things though _

Text from Link at 4:32pm:  _ I need to tell you how much I admire you _

Text from Link at 4:33pm:  _ I worship you _

Text from Link at 4:34pm:  _ you’re like a tall greek god _

Text from Link at 4:36pm:  _ I need to show you how lucky I am to be with you _

Text from Rhett at 4:38pm: _ We are not a couple. Leave me alone. _

Text from Link at 4:41pm:  _ why? What did I do wrong? _

Text from Link at 4:44pm:  _ baby please talk to me _

Text from Rhett at 4:45pm: _ I am blocking your number. Leave me the fuck alone. _

Text from Link at 4:47pm: _ baby please don’t block me I’m sorry _

Message failed to deliver.

 

**Wednesday.**

 

I awoke in the middle of the night to rocks hitting my window. Little rocks knocking on the glass, tapping, waking me up long before I was ready. I rolled over in bed and looked outside to see a dark haired man running from my yard. 

I ran downstairs and opened my door to see a car speeding away. 

“Yeah, you better leave.” I said quietly. I was about to go back inside when I looked down and saw a box of chocolates and a note on top.

 

_ Please give me a chance? I think we’d be really happy together. I can prove it if you let me. _

_ -L _

 

I crumpled the note in my hand and tossed the chocolates in the garbage, not trusting them, even though there was plastic wrap around the outside of the box. 

 

**Thursday.**

 

_ linklamont: did you get the chocolates? _

_ linklamont: i know you don’t love sweet stuff but it seemed appropriate _

_ linklamont: my mom always said that’s how people apologize _

_ linklamont: she was really wise _

_ linklamont: i think she’d really like you _

_ linklamont: i’ve been telling her about you _

_ linklamont: and how awesome you are _

_ linklamont: you’re really awesome _

_ linklamont: i bet you play guitar _

_ linklamont: your house is really nice looking _

_ linklamont: i’d be ashamed to show you mine  _

_ linklamont: but you can see it if you’d like _

_ linklamont: i think about you at night _

_ linklamont: when i’m alone _

_ linklamont: you make me feel safe _

_ linklamont: you’re so handsome _

_ linklamont: i think i’m falling in love with you _

_ linklamont: i can make you happy if you let me _

_ linklamont: i dream about you _

_ linklamont: i think about you in the shower _

_ linklamont: your tall body on mine _

_ linklamont: we could be happy together _

_ rhettmc: please stop talking to me.  _

_ linklamont: baby please dont leave me _

_ rhettmc: fucking leave me alone _

_ linklamont: we can be happy together _

_ linklamont: let me show you _

_ rhettmc: leave me the fuck alone or I’m calling the police and filing a restraining order. _

_ linklamont: please dont be like that baby _

_ linklamont: i’m sorry _

_ linklamont: it’s hard to stay away from someone when you love them _

_ linklamont: i think i love you _

_ linklamont: rhett? _

_ rhettmc has blocked linklamont.  _

 

**Friday.**

  
  


The police didn’t take me seriously. A six foot seven inch tall man intimidated by a stalker? They had more important things to deal with. I drove home from the station the next day frustrated and afraid. Yes, Link was smaller than me, but I’d prefer to refrain from physical violence or intimidation if I could help it. 

That day I spent at home, calling into work, unsure of what to do, what to think. I spent a few hours watching stories about stalkers on Youtube but it didn’t help or make me feel better. It just made me feel more helpless and afraid. There was little I could do without the help of the police, and I was afraid they wouldn’t help me until it was too late.

At about five in the afternoon I heard a knock on my door. Unsure what to expect, I looked through the peephole to see a tall, dark haired man with blue eyes standing patiently at my doorstep. 

“Rhett?” He called out. My stomach dropped, churning, and I swallowed extra saliva that had accumulated in my mouth. I felt nauseous with fear. I held my hand on the lock on the door, my knuckles white with tension. 

“Rhett, please come outside? Can we talk about this?” Link knocked again, harder this time. “I don’t know what I did wrong.” His voice sounded depressed, as if he were detached from the reality of the situation. “Please tell me what I did wrong.” 

I sighed and put my head on the door frame, closing my eyes, hating myself for what I was about to say.

“If I talk to you, will you leave me alone?” 

I heard Link sigh and lean on the door. He seemed to be in deep thought about this. “Will that make you happy? Me leaving you alone?” 

“Yes.” I tried to keep my anxiety out of my voice.

“Can we talk first though? So I know what I did wrong? At least?” 

I heaved a deep sigh and nodded. Then, realizing he couldn’t see me, I opened the door. 

“You are not coming inside.” I said, blocking the door and stepping outside. 

Link nodded, looking up at me and swallowing hard. “Look, Rhett, I just don’t get what I did wrong.”

I sighed, looking at how pathetic he was, the way his lip quivered and the anger it sent through me. It did not make me sympathize; rather, it made me more angry. I looked at him up and down, at his dark black hair and those amazing eyes. Perhaps in another life we could’ve been friends, or more, but not in this one. In this one, I couldn’t wait to be as far away from Link as possible. 

“You need to leave me alone.” I said firmly. I watched as a tear rolled down his left cheek, and forced myself to continue. “We are not a couple. We are not friends. We went on one date. What you are doing is harassment. You need to stop.” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just get nervous… and then I start… I start talking and just… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I watched as Link began to blubber and cry, snot on his face, making him look even more like a pathetic child. He wiped his nose on his sweater sleeve and cleaned his glasses on the bottom of his shirt before sniffing and putting them back on. “Is something wrong with me?”

“I don’t know. I think you need help though.” I said, still guarding my door. “And I am not the person who will give it to you. I mean professional help.” 

Link nodded and gulped. He looked down at his feet, face flushed. “Okay Rhett. I won’t bother you again.” He stepped away from the door and looked sheepishly up at me. “I think we could’ve been happy, but I understand.” 

I watched him as he walked away and stepped into his car, refusing to go inside until he actually drove away. I breathed a sigh of relief, still anxious that he wouldn’t understand, still anxious that he wouldn’t leave me alone, but hopeful that my message had gotten across. 

 

**Sunday.**

 

I woke up to thunder so loud it ricocheted through my body and out my limbs, making me jump up and flail in my body. Only- I couldn’t flail. I was restrained. I opened my eyes and looked at my darkened ceiling, then lifted my head to try and look down my body. There was rope around my body, possibly multiple strands of rope, wrapping around me and securing me tightly to the mattress. I began to struggle and yell, trying to free my arms, at which point I realized my hands were tied together. I looked over to my right and to my left, desperately struggling, turning my head too fast and making my head spin. 

“Good morning Rhett.” Link’s voice emerged from the dark corner opposite the left side of the bed. I looked over to see him sitting there in a chair with a book, which he shut as a grin spread across his face. It wasn’t an evil grin, like you read about in movies; it was a happy one, like the kind a child has when opening their favorite toy at Christmas. I was breathing hard, panicking, as Link stood up and walked over to me. “It’s about nine o’clock. I hope you’re not a church goer, but then again, I know you aren’t.” He continued grinning at me, making me hyperventilate more and more, until I felt like I was going to pass out. “Deep breaths. Ready? In… two… three… four… five… six… seven… eight… now hold it… and out… two… three… four. Repeat that until you’re calmed down. Panicking won’t help you now.” 

I did as he instructed and the room began to come back into view, unblurring. I meant to say “what the fuck” but it just came out “what the fu-”, an incomplete sentence marred by terror.

“You wouldn’t give me a chance to show you how happy we could be together.” Link said cheerfully. How could he be so cheerful as he filled me with such fear? “So I had to find a way to show you. Think of it as playing house - but you don’t have to do any work. I’ve even cleaned for you. Your kitchen was really a mess.”

I looked around wildly, barely paying attention to what he was saying. I couldn’t pay attention; between the rain outside and my pounding heart inside, it was all I could do to pay attention and not panic again. “House?” I asked. I pushed against my ropes. “How the fuck is this anything like playing house?” 

“I’ll take care of you. Like a good housewife. Well, house-husband. Remember that fantasy about us being married? I’ll be giving you a preview of that.” He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. “I’ve even made you breakfast.” He smiled, holding up a plate from the floor with pieces of toast and scrambled eggs. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I grabbed some different things here and there from your kitchen.” I watched in horror as he held up a piece of bread. “Now with this arrangement I’ll have to feed you for a little while, but I think you’d prefer that to me starving you.”

“I’d rather fucking starve.” I whispered, noticing that my usual morning hunger was replaced with adrenaline. 

“Well that was rude.” Link murmured. He bite the toast, chewed, and swallowed. “Ugh. I hate cold toast.” He set the plate back on the floor, gently, with a little thunk. “Now Rhett. Would you like to watch a movie? I can bring up the television. I was thinking  _ Misery  _ sounded good.” 

I shuddered, unsure what to do, what to think. I watched as Link walked out of the room, still smiling, and looked outside at the rain pouring down the windows. Even if I could yell loudly enough, there was no chance I would be heard over the storm. I looked to the bedside table on my right to see if my phone was next to me, but Link hadn’t been that stupid. I laid there, listening, thinking as quickly as I could, trying to think of things I’d learned from watching documentaries and drama programs about serial killers, stalkers, and other dangerous people. I remembered that the biggest tip was to make yourself seem as human as possible by using things like names and personal details about the victim’s life. 

I had to at least try to play along.

Link came in carrying my 42” monitor under his arm. He smiled at me and set it up on my dresser. “Do you know where the outlet is?”

“Behind the dresser.” I felt so strange, like I was playing a bizarre customer service role in the strangest store on earth. 

“Thanks bo.” I watched as Link plugged it in. “I already brought up the DVD player earlier. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” I said, trying to sound as if I wasn’t still gripped by fear. I forced, painfully, a smile, and looked at Link, who looked back at me and grinned. He looked away from me and I noticed, for the first time, the slightest bit of looseness in the ropes around my left wrist. I began to wiggle it just a little, just the slightest bit. 

“Okay. So we have  _ The Lion King _ or  _ Misery _ . You have interesting taste in movies.” Link laughed and held them up. “What do you feel like?” 

“Well, you said you wanted to watch  _ Misery _ . That sounds okay.” I considered whether or not it was ironic to watch a movie about someone kidnapping a writer while being essentially kidnapped. I wondered if my voice sounded natural. All I felt was nerves, all I felt was a rush of fear, and all I could do was try to fight it. If I played along, maybe he’d let me go. If I played along, maybe I’d find an opportunity to escape.

“Okay. Misery it is then!” Link popped in the DVD and, to my relief, pulled his chair over to the right side of the room, where the dresser and television was. Away from my left arm. He sat down and watched as the DVD menu popped up, selecting “play” with the remote and settling on a volume a bit lower than I expected. “Did something change your mind?” Link asked, looking down at me. I froze my left arm, stiffening the muscles and trying to not drip sweat. 

“Well maybe you’re right.” I thought, trying to figure out what aspect of Link to appeal to. I had read before that most people who behave this way had a problem with their ego in that it was too large or skewed from reality. Perhaps complimenting him would be the next best idea. “After all, you’re very handsome.” I said, trying to sound as sweet as possible, trying to push as much into my acting from high school as I could. “And you’re very strong. You really tied me down tight.”

Link blushed furiously. He looked back at  the television and sighed. “It’s going to be a good day, isn’t it? The first day of our relationship. We’ll have to mark this as our anniversary.” 

I nodded, my left arm wriggling underneath the rope. I scraped it on one rope as I managed to free it from one of the ropes closer to my body, staring the entire time at Link, taking small breaths to do my best to remain quiet. After about thirty minutes of Link chatting on and on about how romantic it was an all the things he was going to show me, my hand slowly pulling free from rope after rope, Link looked at me again, and I completely froze. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, his voice surprisingly sweet. I bit the inside of my cheek and considered the distraction it would provide for me to free my hand. I only had one or two ropes left before my left arm would be free. I nodded.

Link leaned into me, pressing his mouth softly onto mine, and I did my best to kiss back. I felt like I was putting on a fairly good performance, gently kissing him, trying very hard to not feel wrong about it. I focused on splitting my energy evenly between this act, this kiss, and freeing my arm.

One rope slipped. Pop. I froze for a second. Link hadn’t noticed. 

One more rope slipped. 

My arm was free.

I felt exhilarated and as I continued to kiss him back, I considered my options. To attack one armed would put me at a disadvantage. To not attack would risk me losing my chance to free myself. 

I took a deep breath and trusted myself. With all the strength I had, I slammed my left fist into Link’s head.

“Ah! What the fuck Rhett?” I heard Link yell as he stumbled backwards. I had hit him in the eye, and he was holding his face in pain, breathing hard through his teeth. This was my chance. I began to use my left arm to free my right, as quickly as I could, struggling. The ropes, loosened by not having my left arm underneath them, my right arm was soon free. I pushed myself upwards against the ropes as Link lunged at me with a loud yell. I threw my right fist into him, knocking his jaw backwards with a loud smack. As Link staggered backwards, knocking over the television, I pulled my legs free. Not looking back to see if he was following me, I ran down the stairs.

At the bottom of the stairs I felt something grab onto my ankle and my body lurched forward, slamming into the floor. I kicked back with my other leg and felt nothing but air before making contact and feeling the hands loosen from my ankle. I crawled forward and stood up again, running to my front door and outside into the storm. 

“Rhett!” I heard Link call after me. I looked behind me to see he was running after me, and he was a fast runner too. Rocks and grass dug at my feet and I hit pavement with a sharp, painful sensation going through my right foot; I’d stepped on glass. I careened to the side, into a car, causing the alarm to start blaring. 

“Rhett! Please come back! I’m sorry!” I looked at Link as I continued to lurch backwards, into the street. I looked behind me to see a woman stepping outside to see what the commotion was. 

“Call 911!” I shouted. “Please call for some help!” I began to run towards her house, limping, my foot bleeding onto the asphalt, rain soaking my body. “Help me!”

The woman nodded, opening her door and getting out her cell phone. I hopped and looked backwards for Link before I felt myself tackled to the ground by his small, strong body. 

“Link, get off of me-” I gasped, trying to throw him off. 

“Please don’t leave me.” Link wailed, holding onto my shirt. He was soaked and rain was falling from his hair onto my face. “Please don’t leave me.” His chest began to heave with sobs as he buried his face in my chest, crying so hard that his body shook violently, soaking me with both the rain and his tears.

 

When the police came, they promptly arrested Link. I gave my statement and was told that I would need to testify later in court when the case was tried. I was seen by an ambulance and had to go to the emergency room to get stitches in my foot. I was given crutches to go home. When I got home, the first thing I did was delete my dating profile. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos give me life. Like emotional caffeine.


End file.
